Always afraid
Never confident
Woefully insecure
Solitary
Stoic
Walled in
Hopeless
Numb.
Because of them.
Until you.
Outer Planet Haiku
I want it all back,
What is now not acknowledged
To have ever been.
I've been here before
And I'll be here again.
Temporary anesthetic.
Temporary mood.
Everything is temporary.
Everything is temporary.
Love isn't a choice.
You don't get the option to feel it or not.
You don't get to decide when it happens.
Love comes when it does, with no regard to your plans or situation.
Love is never convenient.
You can try to ignore it, but it won't work for long.
You can try to hold it back, but it will make itself known.
You can do your best to lock it away, far behind a wall of your own construct, but it will eventually find the cracks and make a drunken Jenga round of it.
There's no point fearing it.
There's no point challenging it.
It will bring unbelievable happiness, and it will bring unbelievable pain.
To interfere will only result in one of those.
Love is a vehicle. You're a passenger, willing or not. The destination is unknown, and you have no control.
The steering wheel rarely works, and when it does it's only to avoid a fork in the road leading to a cliff.
And even then, your efforts may result in a minimal disruption in course.
Love is a gift.
It's not to be squandered.
It's not to be pushed away.
It's to be embraced, and lived.
Damn the consequences.
Damn the logic.
Damn the pain.
Damn.
In the past week, two people I knew slipped the surly bonds of earth, and life.
Heroin.
I'm not going to pretend that it's a huge loss for me. I wasn't close to them. I knew them well enough to say hi and catch up for a few over a beer, if I was to run into one of them at the bar.
They were close to other people that I care about deeply, however. And it's for them that I am heartbroken.
These two had demons. Everybody does, to a certain extent, but for some they're so strong it takes self-harm to escape them, if only for a moment.
Food.
Alcohol.
Sex.
Drugs.
People cope the way they know best.
Sometimes that way will create so many more demons, and cause so much more damage than what they're trying to escape... but they don't understand.
They want the pain to go away.
They believe they're a burden to everyone and that the world will be better off without them, should their methods make it so.
But it's not true.
Those left behind to deal with the loss are in pain. They wonder if they could have helped. They would have given anything to try. A demon is born for them, now, too.
Help is out there. It's in the most obvious places, and it's where you'd least expect it.
It's there for the taking.
It comes at no cost.
All it takes is to reach out your hand.
Never forget that.
Dave and Joey, I hope you've found peace. I just wish you could have found it here with the people who cared about you.
