...Now I Long For Yesterday.

The Empire Carpet Man has passed away.
Television will never be the same.

We had 5 or 6 channels when I was a kid. Aside from PBS, he was on all of them, numerous times throughout the day. "588- two- three hundred... Empire!" Until the day I die, I will never be unaware of the number to dial for new carpeting. It's permanently etched into my brain.

And when you need those carpets cleaned, just call Boushelle at "HUDSON three- two- seven hundred."

My kids will have forgotten the Empire phone number by next Tuesday, if they even know it now. They'll probably never know how something like that can get imprinted into their grey matter, with the possible exception of "AFLAC!"

But it's not the same.

Where's the beef? Sorry Charlie. Meow meow meow meow. Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weiner. You deserve a break today. Double your pleasure. When it's time to relax, one beer stands clear. Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too? I am stuck on Band-Aid. It's the real thing. A little dab'll do ya'. From the land of sky blue water. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. I can't believe I ate the whole thing. Please, don't squeeze the Charmin. Ancient Chinese secret, huh? Give a Hoot! He won't eat it, he hates everything. You're soaking in it!

It just isn't the same.

Goodbye Mr. Hauldren. It was nice growing up with you.

Here's to good friends. Tonight is kinda' special...

I'll Be Alone... Dancing. You Know it, Baby.

None of them were Citizen Kane. That wasn't the point. They moved a generation, though. I was inspired by them. My friends were inspired by them. I've decided that this weekend begins the true introduction to my kids (Uncle Buck doesn't count), via young Mr. Bueller.
I was at the man's son's high school graduation ceremony. I wish I had had the balls to seek him out and shake his hand...
and thank him.
Life truly is a John Hughes movie...


Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.

Love's a bitch, Duck. Love's a bitch.

We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.

Being bad feels pretty good, huh?

My God, are we gonna be like our parents? ...Not me.
It's unavoidable. Just happens... What happens?
When you grow up, your heart dies...

A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus.

Yeah, you'll be happy. You just won't know it, that's all.

Sooner or later, everyone goes to the zoo.

Everything isn't like home. If everything were like home, there would be no reason for leaving home.

Despite all the little problems it's fun isn't it? No. But with every new day there's fresh hope.

When you don't have anything, you don't have anything to lose. Right?

I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.

I swear to God this has got be a joke.

I don't know why they call this stuff hamburger helper. It does just fine by itself, huh?

If you give off signals that you don't want to belong, people will make sure that you don't.

I just want them to know that they didn't break me.

Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is.

We don't have none of this stuff in the boy's room! Wait a minute! We don't got none of this... we don't got doors on the stalls in the boy's room, we don't have, what is this? What's this? We don't have a candy machine in the boy's room! 

If somebody doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them.

Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.

You know, it's so insane that someone you've never met, never talked to can be your enemy. 

It's better to swallow pride than blood.

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.




































You're still here? It's over!


Go home.


Go.