Have you ever met someone that you just couldn't stop thinking about? Wouldn't stop thinking about? Someone you feel like you've known for a lifetime, but maybe it's only been a month, or a week, or a day?
You wonder if you even ever cross her mind without you reminding her you're alive. You want to skip your usual "good morning" to find out how long it takes for her to say it first, to say anything first, but you don't want to find out that she might not say anything... so you say it anyway.
When you're together, you hang on every word that comes out of her mouth, drinking it in like wine from the Grail no matter how small the talk... because you don't want to miss even the smallest thing that might mean something.
When you close your eyes all you see are hers.
At dinner, as her leg bounces under the table, you wonder if she's just fidgety. Or wishes she was somewhere else.
Or is just as nervous as you are... and for all the same reasons.
You want to let her know how you feel. Need to. But you're scared to death it will scare her off.
You get sick to your stomach at the thought, even though you don't even know quite what it is yet, or what it could eventually be.
All you know is that you really want to find out.
Even though you have similar personalities, a similar sense of humor, like-minded thoughts and opinions... you're still on your best behavior. Not because you might be afraid of offending her, but because she deserves that of you.
You're happier than you've been in ages. Ambitions and motivations are rejuvenated, you want to be a better you than you are.
You've never been so scared in your life, and you're not even to a point where that would seem at least somewhat rational.
You don't know what you're feeling or why, just that it's good... and if you are just tilting windmills you don't want to know even one second before you're supposed to.
Despite steeling yourself as best you can against it, the thought still creeps in that she'll realize she can do so much better than you. You almost talk yourself out of it before anything has a chance...
Like usual.
But you don't.
Well, have you?
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